Don't Forget to Get Up, After you Fall Down

Well, it's been awhile. I can honestly say I was pushing through hell for the last 7 months. With Senior Year and working 2 jobs, I barely had time to function. But the end is near and graduation is around the corner with a full time job offer. So exciting times ahead! I have to say I seriously struggled over these past months and I have really lost sight of what is important. Me.

I forgot how to love myself and respect my body and my needs. Before this I worked my way down to the 120s by eating right and getting my workouts in. But over this stretch of time, I really started struggling. It would be harder to find time to pack my meals, and I would call and order daily. I wouldn't get time to workout because I would feel overwhelmed and exhausted by the time I got home every day. I really started to lose hope and I just gave up. I let the weight pile on. Today I am 20 pounds heavier then my lowest. Part of me wants to give up. And not start all over. Because that is really freaking hard to do. I just want to eat and not stress and not plan and just live my life. But slowly I have started to not like the person I am becoming. I am starting to remind myself of my before picture, and why I started my journey. Looking back on pictures, I remember that confidence that I had newly gained. I had a spark, people were noticing changes in my personality. Today, I am reminding myself of that miserable girl who couldn't get up to do anything. I really don't want to feel miserable anymore. That is such a cop out. And this is me, getting my life back together. I did it before, I can do it again. I am embracing that I screwed up, and I let myself down. Because we all screw up. We all lose sight of what is important. But now it's time to get it back.

I am restarting Weight Watchers, and I am beginning a workout program called PIYO. I am ready to kick my ass into high gear. NO excuses. It is so important to never let your failures overcome your successes. I was successful. I lost over 85 pounds. I should never lose sight of that. If you let your negative mindset get in the way of things, then you will not be successful. We all, as humans make mistakes. Nobody is perfect. This weight loss journey that we are on will be full of crazy twists and turns. I have fallen soooooo many times I probably can't count them on two hands. We all do. The journey is about how we cope with falling and what we do to fix it. I am ready to get my life back together. I am ready to get that confidence I had, not too long ago. I am ready to pick myself up from falling hard. This is me getting my life back, and I hope you will rejoin my journey. It is good to be back.

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